just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize