It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
