i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
