Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
