im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I've blown a few things in my day
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
