My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize