Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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