I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I love having hate sex.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
