clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
