just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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