I can tuck mytits in my pants
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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