Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
