i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
