Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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