It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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