I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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