Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
