i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
