she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
