you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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