Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize