Do you still have your period?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
