You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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