we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
