Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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