you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
