drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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