I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
