I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
this hospital has no fireball
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
