i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
