I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
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We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
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We have so much sex to catch up on
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
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