well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Green mimosas i think yes
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
