Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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