Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
