Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
