We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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