Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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