sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i out mim tonsoeep
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
