It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Less talking, more tequila
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
