Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
