Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
