I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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