When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
