I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Randomize
