Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
