Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
