And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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