they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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