she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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