apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
