just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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