you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
