she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
