He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
