i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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