I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
