i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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