the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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