4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
