They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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