Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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