I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
